wasting words on lowercases and capitals
5:05 p.m. - 2003-08-03

I called kopry today.. to find out what was wrong and everything.. i guess he didn't like me being alone in a room with jason.. but we were just talking and i spilt beer on him so whatever we were in his room.. I think hes overreadting.. but i understand where hes cming from.. but why be this mad at me.. I told him the truth.. he hung up on me too.. im really upset and i wanna cry.. but i won't i won't i won't its not worth it. i just need to get over it you know.. he called me a homie hopper too.. wtf? i was like thats what you think of me? i a homie hopper and he said if the shoe fits.. god.. you know.. i just. i donno.. i wanna teear out all my hair and hit the wall again.. you should see my knuckles.. they look kinda gross.. all red and scabby.. yum.. i don't get to go out tonight.. im mad.. well.. just like another 4 or 5 days and im offically off.. i wanna go out of town next monday not tomorrow.. but dunno if im going to be able too.. i dunno.. im just tired of drama.. i wanna have fun and forget.. i already have too much drama.. a year ago i was begging for drama i was soo tired of my life.. but i realized that i want that life back.. where i was happy and nothing was wrong.. just my parents being mean.. i dunno.. my mom says she misses joey.. its weird i think she loved him more then i loved him. she got mad when i changed all the pictures around so hes not anywhere in this house. i hate it. why is he mad at me! Why is he soo.. insecure?!?!? well i know because of his fucking ex girlfreind.. but.. i won't do that too him.. i won't put him in jail.. if anything he would break my heart.. well if i can't have him as mine i want him in my life. i don't care if its just as friends i made a list today that im gonna live by..

1. Never sleep with a guy that i haven't known longer then 2 months

2. Never let any one bring me down or intimidate me

3.always have fun.. no matter what i am doing

4. don't trust guys

5. don't let guys hurt me

6. don't let anyone get the better of me

7.never hit a wall again with my fists unless im extremely angry

8. don't let things pass by

9. always think twice about every decision i make

10. never regret anything

weird ass list i know. but..well what can i say.. things im gonna live by...alright.. another night with the folks.. here come the yahtzee and the monoply.. oh boy..

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