stay away he said don't ever come back home
5:25 p.m. - 2003-12-21

im pissed.. and frustrated.. and i don't know why.. its like.. i dunno.. i was in such a good mood.. the all of the sudden its like.. a switch and i went from being holly jolly to fucking.. blazin mad.. and i think it has to do with someone.. i hate change.. i hate it.. and i dunno.. im tired and worn out.. and i wanna.. like just brake down and cry.. but.. like.. straws keep plying away on that camels back.. but .. i dunno.. its hard to explain.. i think.. i need to get drunk.. and just forget for a little while.. i want someone to love me.. i want someone here to love me.. not across the damn country.. but someone here in vegas.. to love me.. and want me.. and need me.. i want.. i dunno.. i want to be happy again..

I need to get fucked.. thats what i need.. to get fucked.. and i want my ryan to do it.. but... its just not gonna happen.. its not.. i need a good up against the wall rough fuck.. one that leaves you senseless..

or maybe i need to cry.. and get out all this.. rejection and dissapointment i have in me.. i need to do something..soon.. or something is gonna break..something is gonna go wrong...

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