why don't you kill
7:45 a.m. - 2003-12-22

i hooked up with max last night.. yay.. finally.. i dunno i guess that means he feels the same? or maybe he was just kissing me back because i was there.. and you know.. well whatever the reason it made me late.. so hopefully im not grounded.. i mean. .. we had a flat tire! yuou should look at the tire.. big ol' slash down it... well we really did have a flat tire.. but.. it was because max kissing me that i was late.. hes sooo cute he was like.. 3 more mins.. i was like 1.. he went 2 then i said one.. then he was like fine come ere... then alex calls me.. and tha givses hime the oppurtunity to let his hands roam more.. so im trying to talk to alex.. and hes there.. distracting me.. i dunno alex is prolly mad at me or something...

i think all i needed last night was a good cry.. i called brandon and just broke on him.. hes like.. hunny.. it will be okay.. well god damn.. now im thinking about it again and its gonna make me cry.. hes not coming home fro x-mas.. and that is just gonna tear me apart.. hes leaving in 3 weeks.. my best friend is leaving for war.. and may never come back.. and im just .. not excited about that.. i want him home and safe.. home with me and jess.. but whatever.. now im backto thinking aout max. what does it mean.. are we going to continue to hook up? or..was it a one time thing.. i dunno but i want it to happen again.. that was fun. ha hahaaa...but yea.. a broken heart come crashing down

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